Hello America!
So, suddenly, I am off to the US of A. Reason — husband has work in Anaheim. I threatened him - if you go for ten days, I am not going to stay at home and wait for you and deal with this big joint family. I will go off to Europe or to Rishikesh on my own. He quickly realized his mistake and asked me to come along.
We start with 2 days in NJ. Then, we head to LA. A night in LA. Then to Anaheim and from there to SF and back to NJ and then to Mumbai….
I am now quite excited about the trip. Especially, now that I realized that my cousin (Vinita), who lives in Yorba Linda, is getting married on 7th March. Her Henna party is on the 5th of March, when we are in Anaheim.. I am so excited to meet the family there and be with the bride a few days before the wedding. I am looking forward to pampering her and be a part of the fun things in the run up to the wedding.
So, let me tell you about Vinita.
Vinita grew up in Kolkata (and I lived in a small town 4 hours from Kolkata). Their family was the uber cool, rich, modern / unconventional Gujrati family. Her father worked in the Bay area and her mother lived in Kolkata with Vinita and her twin brother Vinay. Vinita was five years older than me. They knew about imported chocolates, English music, English movies, read novels, had many friends, went to discos, ate Chinese food…. and to the 7 year old me, this was how one should live.
In those days, in the place i grew up in, boys and girls went to different schools. Boys had boys as friends and girls had girls as friends. Till I came to Mumbai in 1994, I had not spoken to any boy except my cousins. Vinita had male friends and a big group of boys and girls, which was her gang.
My aunt was very lively and humorous, spoke English fluently, played cards, and raised her kids in a non-conventional way and was an excellent cook. I secretly wanted my Mom imbibe her cool-quotient.
When we were in our teens, the three of them migrated to the US to be with their father. I am talking about the late 1980s… After they migrated, we met my aunt on and off, but didn’t meet Vinita or Vinay much. However, thanks to FaceBook, we were aware of each other’s life.
Vinita went on to become a very successful nurse. It was nice to read her FB posts (in the last 8–9 years), always filled with joy and positive energy.
Some people in the family criticized her over the years — for her FB posts, for her dressing style and for the choices that she had made. They criticized her for not keeping in touch with the family. They criticized her for making an India travel plan and not spending enough time in Kolkata or for not visiting them. Having been a fan of hers at one point, I didn’t like this criticism. And my logic was simple — people evolve. She is now living in America for decades and she is doing what she feels is appropriate in that culture. If she doesn’t want to spend a vacation meeting extended family, it doesn’t make her a bad person.
Cut to last year:
I got engaged in Feb 2019. Within a few days, Vinita got engaged and announced it on FB. I was very happy to read about it. We congratulated each other on FB. The family was elated at both our engagements. There was one cynical person who said — in US engagements are not sacrosanct. They get called off all the time. It was sad to hear this. In my heart, I was like NO. Just because she is marrying an American doesn’t mean that the relationship will not work out. Just because she is marrying late doesn’t make her a loser.
I could relate to Vinita’s happiness at having found someone. In our large family, we were the only 2 unmarried (and in our 40s) from our generation of cousins. We both didn’t follow the conventional path of marriage in 20s. Both of us waited for the right person, lived our life powerfully and both of us did well financially and were happy with our single lives till now.
Coming back to now:
Universe has its own way! Someone whom I have admired and have looked up to, someone whose engagement made me so happy, is getting married. From nowhere, I am going to be attending her henna party! And trust me, till I booked our Anaheim hotel, I had no idea that she lived so close by and that she was getting married on those dates.
But God has a plan and it is almost seems like there is a connection between us, which is getting me to Anaheim all of a sudden to be with her!
